Weight restoration in eating disorder recovery
Weight restoration in eating disorder recovery may be one of the hardest parts of the whole recovery journey. It’s unsettling to have your body change on you, a body that you place so much value and identity in during your eating disorder. There is a loss of control and a grieving process that goes with missing your smaller body. It’s not uncommon to feel emotions of sadness and fear as you move forward into unknown territory of the recovery process. It’s uncomfortable, but eventually the moments of discomfort subside.
I recently went through the last stage of weight restoration myself, hitting my goal weight range. It was surprising because I thought I was where I needed to be prior to gaining weight, but my body had other ideas. It was unsettling at first, but with time, this new body became the new norm.
Here are some tips to helping yourself get through the process.
Find clothes that feel comfortable. I really liked my old clothes, so letting go of them was hard. My body had changed many times throughout the course of my eating disorder that I often had to buy new clothes. This time I put off buying new clothes because I didn’t want to spend the money. But I have to say, when I finally bought some new pieces, I felt a lot better in my body and the body image discomfort lessened. If you are on a budget, online thrift stores like Poshmark and thredUP are helpful for finding decent pieces at lower prices. When you’re comfortable in the clothes you wear, you think less about disliking your body.
Stop the body checking. This only makes the obsession worse. If you’re constantly picking your body apart, you’re going to struggle to have compassion for it. If you do find yourself engaging with a mirror, try to say one positive or neutral statement about your body. Like “I like my hair” or “my eyes are blue.” This helps counter some of the negative thinking. BTW – it goes without saying to throw out the scale. Numbers won’t allow you to feel better about your body.
Pay attention to what you pay attention to online. Follow pro-recovery accounts and diversify your feed. If you notice the accounts you follow make you feel bad about yourself or your body, unfollow them. I strictly follow people in recovery online and it’s pretty motivating to see others succeeding with their own recovery journeys.
Affirmations. It’s cheesy, but affirmations have helped me remember what matters to me when I’m having a hard moment. I write affirmations on post-it notes and place them where I will see them so I can read them often. Try them on a mirror or on a wall behind where you work. Ones like “I don’t want to waste any more time on this disorder” can be powerful motivation when you’re having a hard day.
Remember your “why” for recovery. What motivates you is going to inspire change. Whatever your motivation is, write it somewhere so that you can have a tangible reminder of why you want recovery. Also, try to remember what interests you outside of your body. You are more than just what you look like.
Continue to eat through the discomfort. The best thing you can do for yourself is to stay on track with your recovery, despite your feelings about your body. The food will give you energy and brain power to fight the eating disorder thoughts.
Give it time. This one I was skeptical about, but honestly the longer you stay in your recovered body, the more acclimated you become to it. Soon, you’re not as uncomfortable all the time and you think about your body less and less. It’s encouraging when you realize you spend most of your day thinking about things other than your body. I can’t tell you how long this will take, it’s different for each person, but stick it out. It’s worth it.
Bottom line is bodies change. Even if you’re not recovering from an eating disorder, your body will change as you get older. Sometimes it’s hard to accept that you won’t look the same at 30 that you did at 18. But remember, this is normal and your worth and value as a person is so much more than the size of your body. Plus recovering from an eating disorder feels so much better than all the effort it took to maintain a “sick” body. I am in recovery from my eating disorder and while I may still struggle with how my body looks, it is a small price to pay for the freedom and gifts that recovery brings.