Thriving Through the Holiday Season: A Recovery Journey
Last night, I spent a heartwarming holiday evening with my sponsor, her family, and a mutual friend. As we sat down to enjoy the meal, I couldn’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come in my recovery journey and how much has changed over the years.
There was a time when holidays like Thanksgiving were far from enjoyable. Back then, I was deep in my disorders, and the thought of a big family meal filled me with dread. I would spend the day fixated on how to navigate the dinner without drawing attention to myself. The fear of food was all-consuming. I believed every bite would cause me to gain weight, so I would restrict all day leading up to the meal, trying to "save up" for it. At the meal, I’d carefully portion my plate, making sure it looked like I was eating enough while secretly trying to eat as little as possible.
On top of the anxiety around food, I was drinking heavily during those years. I often used alcohol to cope with the stress of family gatherings and the pressure to appear “okay” when I wasn’t. I’d start drinking early in the afternoon, telling myself it would help me relax, but in reality, I used it to escape. Sometimes, I drank so much—and ate so little—that I’d pass out on the couch, missing much of the evening entirely.
This year, though, was completely different. I sat at the table, present and engaged. I shared about my recovery and what it took to get here. I didn’t feel the need to restrict, nor did I have to rely on alcohol to get through the evening. Instead, I enjoyed the meal, the company, and the simple pleasure of being surrounded by people who care about me. I was able to connect with those around me, share stories, and savor the experience without the shadows of fear or guilt looming over me. Even my sponsor’s mom commented how much I opened up and shared of myself with them.
The meal wasn’t composed of traditional Thanksgiving food, but rather homemade pasta. Pasta used to be my number one fear food. I have literally cried over meals of pasta while in treatment. When my sponsor told me of the change in meal, the idea of homemade pasta filled me with excitement. Thanksgiving food has never been my favorite and I had never had homemade pasta, so it was a treat. I wasn’t scared of the calories or the food I once used to binge on. It wasn’t just about the food itself; it was about the care and love that went into preparing it and how that connected all of us at the table.
I also did not feel the need to alter my eating throughout the day to “make up” for the evening meal. I ate my regular meals and snacks and was still hungry for the Thanksgiving meal. Where dessert used to be something I would avoid, I delighted in trying a type of homemade pie I had never had before. I even ate the leftover pie sent home with me, allowing myself permission to have seconds of something, a reminder that food can be a source of joy, not fear.
Looking back on last night, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude—not just for the people around the table, but for the recovery journey that has brought me to this place. I realize recovery has given me so much more than just a healthier relationship with food. It’s given me the ability to fully participate in moments like these, to connect, to experience joy, and to feel gratitude in a way I never could before. Last night reminded me why I’ve fought so hard to get to this place.
This Thanksgiving, I celebrated not just the holiday but also the milestones in my journey. I celebrated freedom from the chains of disordered eating, the ability to sit at a table and feel connected, and the joy of being present in a moment that once would have terrified me. For the first time in years, I’m not just surviving the holidays—I’m thriving in them. And that’s a gift I’ll never take for granted.
Navigating the holiday season and dealing with anxiety and stress around food and gatherings can be challenging, especially for those in recovery from eating disorders. If you’re feeling like you could use some extra support this year, know that you’re not alone—and help is available.
I’m here to offer support through one-on-one coaching, where we can work together to tackle the unique challenges this time of year may bring. Whether it’s managing food-related anxiety, building coping skills, or finding ways to enjoy the season without overwhelm, I’m here to meet you where you are at and help you create a plan that works for you. Visit my website at https://www.wedorecoveredcoaching.com/ to book your free consultation meeting today.
In addition to coaching, I’m excited to announce my new meal support group, meeting Mondays at 6 p.m. at Webster Hills United Methodist Church. This group is designed to provide a safe, supportive space where you can share a meal with others who understand what you’re going through. We’ll work on making mealtime a more positive experience, providing accountability, encouragement, and a sense of connection. It’s a chance to break away from isolation and find community during what can be a stressful season. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/we-do-recovered-meal-support-group-registration-1063604372309?aff=ebdsoporgprofile
If this resonates with you or someone you know, feel free to reach out for more details. Whether you’re seeking one-on-one support or looking to join the meal group, I’m here to help you navigate the holidays with more confidence and less stress. Let’s work together to make this season a little brighter and a lot more manageable!